What exactly do bouquets, beefs, dragons and mirrors have in common? It’s part of a game that you can play with your spouse to keep the spark in your marriage sizzling.
Whether you are newly married or hitting a rut, some creative energy and sheer willingness, can turn your marriage meter up a few knots with this simple game.
Bouquets, Beefs, Dragons and Mirrors
This conversational game allows you to ask your spouse questions with a twist. Here’s how it works:
First, you say, “Bouquets?” Your spouse gives a virtual bouquet of flowers to you for anything that he especially liked that you did in the past week. The number of bouquets is limitless. For example, he can say, “I give you a bouquet for helping me edit my paper for school, I really appreciated that or I give you a bouquet for always smiling at me right when I come home through the door.”
Next, you say “Beefs?” He gives a virtual “beef” to anything that might be bothering him. For example, it might be a “beef” he has had at work. “I have a beef for Joe because he seems to always buy meat pizzas even though he knows I am a vegetarian at staff lunches.” This can also be an opportunity to address a “beef” he may have with you. (Remember to keep away from backbiting and stick to the facts!) It is important to talk about “beefs” so you both can be on the same page in your relationship. Often times, one spouse thinks everything is just fine, while the other is completely clueless!
Then comes, “Dragons?” This is one of my favorites. This is where he tells you about his fears, worries or concerns. “I have a dragon for next Saturday. I’m really hoping that I get my results back from my exam and that they are positive” Or, “I have a dragon for tomorrow morning, I’m feeling really tired, I hope I can wake for my 8am meeting.” Dragons give an opportunity to share fears or concerns that are not necessarily shared because it’s not a usual part of everyday conversation.
And finally, “Mirrors?” This is a fun way to ask your husband to “reflect” on something that has happened to him lately that reminded him to be grateful. “I have a mirror for this morning. I woke up late and was really worried that I would miss the 8am meeting with the big boss, but the traffic was cleared for me and I got there in 10 minutes when it usually would take me 25 minutes. That was surely Grace on me.”
After your husband has had a turn, it’s your turn while he asks you. Don’t think you wouldn’t be a part of the fun! While your husband answers, it’s your utmost time to listen carefully, be gentle in your answers as he is opening up his vulnerabilities to you.
Tip: You can play this game with your children to get them to open up. Or with a few of your friends. Play it by the fireplace on a rainy day, at the dinner table when the conversation is a lull or when you are too wired in your bed before sleep overcomes you.
An Invitation
Do you have any fun games that you play with your significant other? What kinds of things do you do to sizzle things up in the relationship? Share your ideas in the comments below and let’s put the spice back in our marriages.
image credit: will hybrid
